How do I fire my hairstylist?

How do I fire my hairstylist?

Dear Aden (ask@askaden.com)

Kind of a stupid question but this issue is killing me and I was hoping you could give me some advice. How do I fire my hairstylist? My problem is I have been seeing her for 3 years, I get my hair colored often and I am a regular client of hers. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Over the past 6 months, I’m just not happy with how my hair looks and I want to go someplace else but I am too afraid or embarrassed to leave her, it seems really uncomfortable to do. How do I fire my hairstylist? I can’t keep paying money for hair I hate, is there a polite way to tell her.
Robin


Dear Robin,

You seem like a great person, kind, caring and thoughtful. Now its time to be kind, caring, and thoughtful to yourself. “How do I fire my hairstylist?” The answer is, why have you continued to torture your hair like a terrorist held at Guantanamo Bay for the last 6 months? If you don’t take care of you, no one else will! I am sure you and your stylist have had some great times over the past 3 years and I’m sure your hair had some good moments too, but its time to move on before someone gets hurt, and that someone is you. Stop asking the question “How do I fire my hairstylist?” and start asking “Where will I go next” unless you are in a super small town and need to see another stylist in the same salon, you really don’t need to do anything but move on. It’s a business relationship and no matter what your reason is, it is perfectly acceptable to stop going to her without notice or a reason. If you see her out and about, just be polite and don’t mention the hair, chances are she wont either, if she does, just say “I have been trying some new stuff.”

So don’t spend one more uncomfortable minute in her chair, move on and don’t look back.

-A.

I really like this girl I have been dating, should I buy her jewelry or lingerie?

Dear Aden (ask@askaden.com)

I have been dating a super hot, wonderful, girl for only 2 weeks, but I am crazy about her! We are having dinner tomorrow night and I want to bring her a gift to show her how much I care about her. I was thinking of buying her some earrings or a bracelet or would I be going to far getting her some lingerie she could model for me later? Seriously, what gift do you think I should get her?

Paul

Dear Paul,

Very exciting stuff! I am glad you found someone you like so much especially after only dating for 2 weeks. As for what to get her; you have only been dating for 2 weeks so the best gift is nothing. Remember the key to a successful relationship is that both parties feel that they are getting the better deal. By giving a girl you have been dating only 2 weeks a gift, you are sending a message that you feel you are beneath her and that you need to add gifts to your pot to even out the deal. Take a step back and make her work for it. I know plenty of super models that are dating the nerdiest guys (not saying you are a nerd) but you know what all those guys have in common? They make the girl work for it.

Maybe instead of buying a girl you have been dating only 2 weeks a gift; if you are out and about, buy yourself something nice in front of her. This will show her that you are able to take care of people you love and that if she works for it and earns your commitment she will be taken care of. The bottom line is just sit tight, have fun and realize that you are a great guy and just being in your company is a great gift for her. I am sure you feel the same way about her.
Hope that helps,

-A.

Do Christian dating sites work?

Dear Aden, (ask@askaden.com)


Do Christian dating sites work? It has been a while since my last long term relationship. I am thinking about setting up a profile at Christian dating sites, do you think that is a good idea or am I wasting my money?
Travis



Dear Travis,
This is a tough one to answer, I personally never used Christian dating sites but I do have some friends that tried Christian dating sites, Jewish dating sites etc. I think one thing to be careful with when it comes to Christian dating sites is the “Crazy Factor” I think those sites tend to attract some nut jobs who are hoping they can get you to date them based solely on religion, and overlook the fact that they are lunatics otherwise.
Just because you are a spiritual person and are looking for a fellow Christian, do you really want that to be such a determining factor on whether or not you will meet someone? Technology is great don’t get me wrong, but by drilling down so much I think you are really removing all of the benefits of organic dating. You may want to ask yourself what type of statement does it make that you are selecting Christian dating sites and is the ideal partner for that concerned about Christianity that they are on Christian dating sites. If the answer is yes, go for it, if no it probably is a waste of money.
-A.

How long should I wait to before we have sex?

Dear Aden (ask@askaden.com)

I met the most amazing girl last week she is 22 I am 28. My question is how long should I wait before we have sex? I really like her and I am more attracted to her than anybody I have ever dated. I can’t stop thinking about having sex with her but I don’t want to do it too soon and mess things up. I really think this could be a long term relationship for both of us, so…. How long should I wait to before we have sex?
You rock,

Mike.



Dear Mike,
How long should I wait to before we have sex? …… How long should I wait to before we have sex? …. Should I do it tonight? How long should I wait to before we have sex?

Do you think she will let it happen? How long should I wait to before we have sex?

I know what you are going through and hang in there. The fact that you are asking yourself the “How long should I wait to before we have sex?” question is a great sign that you have genuine feelings for this girl. I hope you were not looking for a hard and fast rule that solves the all too asked “How long should I wait to before we have sex?” question because there isn’t one but I can offer some assistance.

Rule #1 DON’T PLAN IT: Don’t strategize and plan the big event, and for that matter don’t get yourself into a position that makes you look like you planned it. This is bad news! No hotel dates, no flowers on the bed, none of that crap. If the relationship has the potential you think it does it will be a long one and there will be plenty of times when it will be appropriate to “plan” a hot night of sex, but your first time is never one of them. You want to make sure that your first time with her just “happens” and that you both were not expecting it. Trust me if you let it happen naturally you will both remember the first time forever, and you won’t have here thinking you are a player.

Rule #2 Give her enough space to want you: Men and women are wired differently, our DNA tells us to seek and concur theirs says, make sure the guy is “breeder” material so while you are boiling with the question “How long should I wait to before we have sex?” she may still be on the “Do I really like him?” question (that’s the one women have before “How long should I wait to before we have sex?”) most guys if given the chance would rather have sex before we decide if we like somebody… So give her a little more space but don’t come off as not interested or gay, just let her see you have some self control and that you are not whipped.

Rule#3 Use some common sense: Don’t do it so fast that she feels like a groupie after a one night only 2 Live Crew concert (you have waited a week already, so you are pretty much over that hump) but also if so much time passes that your question of “How long should I wait to before we have sex?” becomes “Will we ever have sex?” you are probably not compatible or you both have different ideas of what type of relationship you are in. If sex is a HUGE issue up front move on, run, get in the wind, get out! If you stay in the relationship those issues will get worse and worse. If your Spidey-Senses are telling you that getting her to have sex with you is going to be a problem, and you really want it and its been over a month, it’s probably best to pack it up.
Hope that helps,
-A.

How to approach a hot guy.

How to approach a hot guy.
Dear Aden, ask@askaden.com

This sounds like a basic question but it one I have trouble with a lot. I need advice on how to approach a hot guy. I am tired of waiting around for men to approach me, nothing ever happens and I seem to always hear things later like “he was so into you, if he knew you were available before he met his current girlfriend I am sure the two of you would have hit it off.” It is time to stop standing on the sidelines and get in the game so tell me how to approach a hot guy.

Sandra.



Dear Sandra,

When it comes to how to approach a hot guy, you are right on track. The fact is men are often more scared then you are, think about it women can be pretty rough when it comes to rejection, a guy on the other hand is going to be far less likely to shoot you down in flames and most of the time we would love it if you approached us and we will quickly take the reins once we find out you are interested. If for some reason it is not a fit, we will let you down much easier than you think.

How to approach a hot guy rule #1. Make a small move quickly. A big mistake that often gets made by a woman wanting to approach a hot guy is you wait too long and go full blitz when and if you do make a move. Next time you see a guy that you fancy, move fast but with the “I am into you” level turned to maybe 2 or 3. Try just walking by, touching his arm and saying “Hey, how are you?” Don’t stop long enough for a long answer just basically say hello and move confidently on. Now that you made contact, stay busy, don’t look desperate and let it marinate a little. If you want to know how to approach a hot guy, sometimes it’s as simple as doing just that, approach him, enter his space, make physical contact and move on. You should get a good indication from him within a few minutes that you are welcome to come back over and have a real conversation. If you are afraid of looking desperate after your bump and run and don’t have a girlfriend or bartender to talk with while he marinates (don’t ever talk to another guy after the bump and run, that is sending mixed signals) go hide in the ladies room for a few minutes. He will wonder where you went and will probably be excited when he sees you again without another guy on your arm.

How to approach a hot guy rule #2. Don’t fake it! When a real conversation does begin with him, be honest but not desperate. Don’t make the same mistakes guys make, don’t beat around the bush or worse, lie. Just be honest, if he walks up to you and asked why you said hello before just say you liked his style and he seems like an interesting guy. Don’t make up a story about how you thought he was someone else or that you think you recognized him from somewhere.

How to approach a hot guy #3 Don’t ask for his number. Some rules of dating evolve, like the fact that it is now perfectly ok for a woman to approach a man, others are better left alone. Don’t ask for his number, instead, give him yours and tell him to call you if he would like to get together sometime. Asking a man for his number is going to mess everything up and you will be very close to becoming a girl he does not appreciate and potentially a booty call number in his phone. Make him do the work and call you, and ask you out properly.

So now you know how to approach a hot guy, and it is as easy as 1,2,3.


-A.

Last minute Valentines Day date advice

If you need any last minute Valentines Day date advice www.askaden.com is here to help!
As always I am here to offer dating advice, relationship advice or advice on anything you need. The best part is as they say on TMZ “The Price is FREEEEEEEE!” So if you have any questions on any last minute Valentines Day date advice just let www.askaden.com know.
Email your last minute Valentines Day date advice to ask@askaden.com
-A.

Help I'm dating Tiger Woods without the money or golf skills!

Dear Aden (ask@askaden.com)


I need advice! What do you do when you are dating someone faraway and they seem really into you at first but then stop coming around as much! We have to completely different lives and you take a chance to date someone totally different and has come from a different background and you have nothing in common but a physical attraction do you think it will work. Oh and he is an ex whore who you use to sleep around allot and has been single since about 8 years now and he’s older then me by 8 years. Leave it alone or try to make progress. Help
-B Girl


Dear B Girl,
Throw in “he is in prison for murdering his momma” and it sounds like you have the perfect relationship. I think you answered this one yourself; He is far away, was interested but now, not so much and because of his past you don’t trust him.
I think its time to stop thinking about this guy, find a local man preferably one without “whore” in the past work experience of his resume and have some fun. It sounds like your level of happiness in this relationship is about a 2 on a 1 to 10 scale and judging by that fact that whore-from-before doesn’t call very much he’s probably in the lower range as well or its just not the right time for him. Just be prepared for him to start calling once you stop, and my advice is don’t answer the phone.
-A.

Finding a gift for a guy I have been dating 2 months...

Dear Aden (ask@askaden.com)
I have seen you posts on facebook so I told my self why not to ask.
I have been dating a guy for about 2 months now so I’m having a hard time trying to pick a present for him for Valentines day...number one cause I don’t know him that well I mean his likes or dislikes and second cause I’m a very giving person but don’t want to give something that looks like is to much or ever worst to look like I’m so into him.....you know what I mean, please help me.
Dilcen



Dilcen,
Thank you for the question when it comes to finding a gift for a guy it can be difficult. As we get older men tend to have less and less different things that we are interested in but the things we do like, we REALLY like, this makes finding a gift for a guy a bit tricky. When it comes to finding a gift for a guy you have only been dating for 2 months there are two things I would keep in mind.
Finding a gift for a guy you haven’t dated that long rule #1: Stick to what you know.
At this point in your relationship going out on a limb and guessing what he likes or would like may not be the best way to go about finding a gift for a guy you have only dated for 2 months. Think about the things he talks about, does he like sports? His car? Does he have a hobby? Try your best to relate the gift to something you know he likes. It too early to branch out as it may look like you are trying to change him.

Finding a gift for a guy you haven’t dated that long rule #2: Attach the gift to you.
If you are finding a gift for a guy, why not make sure you get the most mileage out of the gift? After all you want him to appreciate you and your love and thoughtfulness. Take what you know about him and find a way to make the gift something you can do together like tickets to a game. If he likes to fish, pay for a private fishing trip for the 2 of you. The key in finding a gift for a guy is to show him that not only do you know about him but that you are willing to support and actively get involved in things he likes. Take him to a concert of a band he likes, to dinner at his favorite restaurant. Take him hiking in his favorite place, Heather knew I loved Aspen so she got a hotel room made a picnic lunch and took me on a short easy hike. I loved it! The key is showing that you went the extra mile.
Hope that helps,
-A.