Dear Aden (ask@askaden.com)
I want to make myself more attractive to women. It’s not that I have a problem getting dates now, its just that I want to get dates with a better class of girl. I feel like I can do much better than I am. Do you have any advice?
- Chris
Dear Chris,
When it comes to being more attractive to women, first off the fact that you are coming to grips with the idea that the girls you are dating are not worth your time is a big step in the right direction. Even better, you did not put the blame for dating low-grade women on anyone’s shoulders but your own, another nice step. Lastly, you are connecting that dots that there are things you can do to make yourself more attractive to women. Great work my boy; you are well on your way.
Without knowing more about your specific situation I can offer you some general advice about behavior that will help you be more attractive to women.
Show you are a good provider. Women want a man that can meet their needs. If you are a good provider, you are naturally more attractive to women. But when it comes to dating, I am not asking you to be a push over or a sugar daddy. The first step to being a good provider in the context of dating is to take care and provide for yourself. If you can’t provide for yourself, how are you going to provide for her as the relationship develops? Provide for yourself physically, get fit, stay fit and show her that you care about your health not just from a vanity perspective but from a longevity perspective as well. Get to the gym, if you smoke – quit, make the steps necessary to get healthy now and long term. A healthy man is going to be able to provide for his woman long term and that gets her mating bells ringing. Don’t brag about your workouts either, in the words of Nike “Just Do It.” Bragging defeats the purpose; you need to show her that you are providing for yourself for you, not to impress anyone else. That way when she visualizes you providing for her, it won’t be under the notion that you are doing it for ulterior motives.
Be generous to yourself. In order to be more attractive to women Many guys will go out and spend every cent on the girl they are dating while at the same time being stingy when it comes to themselves. This doesn’t show women you are a good provider, it shows them you want to get laid. Consistently be good to yourself, if you go shopping buy yourself a new outfit, have her help you pick it out and don’t flinch just treat yourself because you deserve it! I don’t mean to cut her out of the picture completely, but when it comes to treating her save your ammo be thoughtful and think trough the gifts you give so that they are from the heart and not a bargaining chip for sex. You want to show her that if she makes it in to your inner-circle you will then give her the #1 spot you currently hold for yourself, but she MUST earn that title. Making women work for it naturally makes you more attractive to women.
Be available when the time comes. What I mean here is don’t settle. I certainly don’t mean don’t date anyone you don’t see yourself marring. What I mean is categorize women. It sounds cold but women and sex are a drug and you need to be careful. When you first meet a woman you need to decide, is this a girl I want to go to dinner with, is this a party friend, is this a short term relationship or could she be the one. You have to set a plan, and for the most part hold to it. More people end up with bad relationships because they had nothing to do on a Friday night in 1998 and just kept seeing the person because it was easy. Don’t be that guy! Always be ready and uncommitted until a worthwhile woman EARNS your commitment. Nothing makes you less attractive to women than a guy in a relationship with a low grade girl.
Have your resume ready. In order to be more attractive to women you need to always be ready. when you do meet that worthwhile woman, have your game face ready and your story straight. You need to be confident, clear, thoughtful and most importantly you need to show her that you deserve her and maybe a little bit better than her. If you independently surveyed the best couples you find a common thread, each person feels they are getting the better deal. If you are with the right woman, you brain and ego will scream “WOW DON’T BLOW IT! She is the one, you don’t deserve such an amazing woman” the key is to keep your cool, don’t drool and make sure her inner voice says the same thing.
Hope that helps,
-A.
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