Aden,
Thought I would ask your help on this one. I really like my job and don’t want to do anything to jeopardize it, but my boss (a guy) wants to hang out and be friends outside of work. Is this good or bad for my career?
Scott
Dear Scott,
Good question. The answer is, if managed properly this can be great for your career, but there is a lot at stake here so be careful, very careful.
The first thing to remember is that your job is just one component of your overall success. A lot of people wrap everything up into their “job” closing themselves off to many other opportunities all around them. The more you intertwine you personal life and free time with your boss and your “job” the less you will be able to keep yourself open to other opportunities headed your way. If you spend all your time with your boss the best you can hope for is to be your bosses top underling, and if he gets canned you are in a bad spot if you still even work there after his departure. You want to position yourself so that you can take advantage of almost all opportunities that come your way and most of them will have nothing to do with your boss or your current employer.
Next, just because your boss wants to be friends does not mean he wants to stop being your boss. Tread lightly here, egos are involved. The key is, he is still your boss (for now, if you keep your options open) you make a wrong move as a friend and you’re screwed at work. I have always had this policy; Make the boss feel good but keep a distance, when they talk about golf be ready to talk all about it in detail but keep the conversation on how good they are not you and avoid like hell the urge to start golfing together in non-work settings. Trust me the more you let them in the more one of two things will happen. Option one; they see your life is not on par with theirs and they see you as under qualified for future career advancements. Option two; they see how cool, fun and amazing your life is and it makes them jealous and the want to smash you down.
The bottom line is you want just enough social interaction so that when they think of you they think “Scott is a cool guy, he is my friend, I trust him and he is like me.” You want them to know just enough about you that they have to paint their own picture of what your life is like, that way when they visualize you for a promotion, their picture of you they have in their head is 90% something they fabricated form clues you wanted them to see and it fits with what the “think” you should be. Also, you want them to like you and trust you, but you don’t want them so close that they end up telling you something they later regret and end up chopping your head off in fear you will expose them.
Hope that helps,
-A.
Thought I would ask your help on this one. I really like my job and don’t want to do anything to jeopardize it, but my boss (a guy) wants to hang out and be friends outside of work. Is this good or bad for my career?
Scott
Dear Scott,
Good question. The answer is, if managed properly this can be great for your career, but there is a lot at stake here so be careful, very careful.
The first thing to remember is that your job is just one component of your overall success. A lot of people wrap everything up into their “job” closing themselves off to many other opportunities all around them. The more you intertwine you personal life and free time with your boss and your “job” the less you will be able to keep yourself open to other opportunities headed your way. If you spend all your time with your boss the best you can hope for is to be your bosses top underling, and if he gets canned you are in a bad spot if you still even work there after his departure. You want to position yourself so that you can take advantage of almost all opportunities that come your way and most of them will have nothing to do with your boss or your current employer.
Next, just because your boss wants to be friends does not mean he wants to stop being your boss. Tread lightly here, egos are involved. The key is, he is still your boss (for now, if you keep your options open) you make a wrong move as a friend and you’re screwed at work. I have always had this policy; Make the boss feel good but keep a distance, when they talk about golf be ready to talk all about it in detail but keep the conversation on how good they are not you and avoid like hell the urge to start golfing together in non-work settings. Trust me the more you let them in the more one of two things will happen. Option one; they see your life is not on par with theirs and they see you as under qualified for future career advancements. Option two; they see how cool, fun and amazing your life is and it makes them jealous and the want to smash you down.
The bottom line is you want just enough social interaction so that when they think of you they think “Scott is a cool guy, he is my friend, I trust him and he is like me.” You want them to know just enough about you that they have to paint their own picture of what your life is like, that way when they visualize you for a promotion, their picture of you they have in their head is 90% something they fabricated form clues you wanted them to see and it fits with what the “think” you should be. Also, you want them to like you and trust you, but you don’t want them so close that they end up telling you something they later regret and end up chopping your head off in fear you will expose them.
Hope that helps,
-A.
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