Dear Aden, (ask@askaden.com)
I read your post about finding a man and agree. My problem is what happens next; I have no trouble approaching guys, and it never fails, when I approach I get a date in return. I've only been turned down once in three years...so my records pretty good. From an average girl like myself who gets an average of two dates a month, sometimes more, sometimes less. I tend to find something wrong with the guy by the third date, so I tell him he's not right for me and continue on my search. I have a list, as most girls do, of things I hope to find in a man. At what point (do you feel) is long enough to date a guy in order to see his true colors? Is the third date too soon, or just enough?
- 3 Strikes You are OUT!
Dear 3 Strikes,
Good question, difficult answer. My personal philosophy revolves more around your overall feelings rather than a timeline for number of dates. I guess the best way to gauge things when a relationship is new is by asking yourself, “Am I getting the better deal?” In order for you to get them most out of a relationship and give the most to your partner you want to feel like you are getting a great deal and you are lucky to have them in your life. Now that second part is hard, you need to have them feel the same way about you. If both people feel like they are the “lucky ones” your relationship is on the right track.
I think your list is ok, but maybe you are aiming a little low. Next time you approach a guy, go for one that makes you feel like you won the relationship lottery and focus the first dates on making him feel the same way. If he is as good as you thought he was, your list will go out the window before you know it, if you’re checking boxes at date 3 he’s probably not what you deserve.
I read your post about finding a man and agree. My problem is what happens next; I have no trouble approaching guys, and it never fails, when I approach I get a date in return. I've only been turned down once in three years...so my records pretty good. From an average girl like myself who gets an average of two dates a month, sometimes more, sometimes less. I tend to find something wrong with the guy by the third date, so I tell him he's not right for me and continue on my search. I have a list, as most girls do, of things I hope to find in a man. At what point (do you feel) is long enough to date a guy in order to see his true colors? Is the third date too soon, or just enough?
- 3 Strikes You are OUT!
Dear 3 Strikes,
Good question, difficult answer. My personal philosophy revolves more around your overall feelings rather than a timeline for number of dates. I guess the best way to gauge things when a relationship is new is by asking yourself, “Am I getting the better deal?” In order for you to get them most out of a relationship and give the most to your partner you want to feel like you are getting a great deal and you are lucky to have them in your life. Now that second part is hard, you need to have them feel the same way about you. If both people feel like they are the “lucky ones” your relationship is on the right track.
I think your list is ok, but maybe you are aiming a little low. Next time you approach a guy, go for one that makes you feel like you won the relationship lottery and focus the first dates on making him feel the same way. If he is as good as you thought he was, your list will go out the window before you know it, if you’re checking boxes at date 3 he’s probably not what you deserve.
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